Zombies!

Zombies. Though most people I know of try to get brains by going to school and studying, the thought of the bloodthirsty undead (soulless) has enthralled people for at least a thousand years (first case I know of being in Arabian Nights). While the animation of a postmortem person seems unlikely (sorry Mary Shelley), there has been a new trend in the description of Zombies which does seem logical, and therefore a completely viable beginning. This is that humans are not undead but host to a virus or a symbiotic (albeit a rather one side) relationship with a smaller living organism. I can see current fascination with these theories being that people debate over what it would be like to lose what makes us human (compassion, intelligence, higher learning), yet still retain human abilities (mostly the learning aspect). There is also the matter of the very taboo subject of cannibalism, and we distance ourselves in every way possible from those who practice this grotesque way of obtaining sustenance. So, the Zombie theories have piqued my curiosity, especially the virus theory as viruses (viri?) are organisms that so far as we know are a) the most abundant biological entity and b) only able to replicate inside other cells.

I admit I have some, but not much, knowledge of the function of the human brain and ways in which a Zombie virus could take hold of us. I have seen few movies/shows which explain how they came to be; the one with an Earth history came from the show The Fringe and 75,000 years in the past. It would stand to reason to me that humanity would be wiped out in that case. It would seem more likely to me that such a dangerous biological entity which could potentially destroy the world as we know it would come from space, much like the Stargate Wraiths, only instead of a worm, imagine tiny cells lying frozen in space on or in an asteroid. There are countless possibilities where we could go from here. The cells might not be compatible with Earth DNA, or if so it might bypass Earth and hit Mars, or be in a completely different galaxy and have no chance of making it here. It could be the expansion of the human race beyond our planet and galaxy (something I hope) might uncover this particular type of danger (something I do not hope). Anyways, how might this affect our brains assuming its a DNA compatible virus?

Previous stories/movies of Zombies have them as slow walking or 'shuffling' undead. If it was a virus I would say with reasonable certainty that this would not be the case as since the point of life is replication it would be counter-productive to limit the motor functions. At this point we'd have to hope that the virus doesn't expand our motor functions, giving us a perpetual adrenaline rush where we are stronger, faster, more resistant to pain because our survival is in question. If a Zombie virus hijacked our adrenal glands, there could be damage to our brain, and if it's in the fore brain (frontal lobe), damage there would explain a drop in 'humanity' (albeit the damage would have to be severe. Infection would compel us beyond all notions of humanity to spread the virus to others and thus possibly spare the frontal lobe severe damage). The Zombies eating brains I believe is outdated. They'd go for your kidneys, for more adrenaline.

These are brief and barely explored ideas concerning a Zombie infection. I watched the movie Zombieland last night and to me it seemed a fairly intelligent way of approaching a Zombie apocalypse by the narrator having a list of what to do to stay alive. His 'the first to go are the fat ones who can't run' has me a little worried. I'm not fat but I don't think I could out run a Zombie if it ran at normal human speed. I have a cane though, and I'd go down fighting. I want a cane sword. Or a bionic leg. Or both. While a viral Zombie Apocalypse doesn't seem likely, there are probably those who believe it can be done. They are probably the same ones who believe that the AIDS/HIV are man made. I think one should go to Wikipedia (or Google Scholar, both of which are easy to access) and search FIV. This is endemic in some places (think Lions in Africa) but evolution has provided resistance. It stands to reason that it has been around for a while then in various forms (so far no Canine one) so that nature is inventing its own protections. That to me says that HIV/AIDS is not human made. Let's hope there's no Zombie virus hidden in monkeys or apes deep in the darkest depths (yes, redundant) of the jungles/caves/etc etc.

Any thoughts on this or man-made viruses (viri?)? Zombie thoughts? Additional thoughts on what I briefly proposed as a likely scenario?